The lead-up to Valentines Day is boudoir photography season for guys like me. It’s when I’m most often called upon to take “sexy” photos for women. It’s always my goal to produce an image that my client finds sexy, even if she’s doing the photos as a gift for her husband, boyfriend, or girlfriend, life partner, whatever.
That’s why my friend Zura’s recent blog post Sexy vs. skanky or How to photograph sexiness caught my attention. I commented on that post about how I approach photographing sexiness. In this post, I’ve expanded on those comments.
So, the first question that arises is, “What is sexy?” The answer is different for every single person. I can only answer it by discussing it with her, observing her, looking at example images that she brings, etc. to get an idea of what is sexy to her. Then, I can coach that out of her through posing, expression, lighting, wardrobe and mood. We look at the photos as we go along and mutually decide what’s working and what needs adjustment. If she feels that she is coming across as sexy, then she’s more likely to be emotionally committed to the process, and I’d never want to be as arrogant as to unilaterally layer on my own visual language.
Zura’s post compared two advertising posters from the Montreal Metro. One of them showed a woman on silk sheets, with a sort of sleepy come-hither look that Zura found offensive because to her, it says, “I’m not terribly aware of what’s going on right now, maybe it’s a good time to take advantage of me.” In my experience, some women find the half-lidded, sleepy look sexy, and that is their personal expression of sexuality. Some might even find that expression to be empowering because they feel it radiates their sexual power and intent. Because it’s authentic to them, it ends up being inherently sexy. Others are more aggressive, or kinky, or explicit, or any number of flavors of sexuality that personally suit them.
Anyway, I think that first image is mediocre. It’s stiffly posed in order to position and highlight various products that the image is designed to sell, rather than trying to convey an overall message of sexiness. The expression is pasted on the model and doesn’t look natural or particularly authentic. I think it fails just because it is poorly conceived and executed, not because it’s sexist. The second photo is of a woman wearing an elaborate lingerie outfit, standing provocatively and addressing the camera directly with her eyes. To Zura, this communicates, “Hey there tiger, I have some hot ideas about what I’d like to do to you and have done to me, how about it?” I agree that it’s a better photo. However, I believe this photo could be construed as sexist too, because of the obvious Photoshop body modification done around the waist to make it crazy skinny. Some may argue that the woman in the first poster represents a more healthy body image than the woman in the second poster. Personally, I’m not adverse to doing this kind of modification on photos when my client requests it. Photography, particularly the boudoir kind, is illusory anyway, and if she feels it adds to her allure, then why not?
In my opinion, “sexy” and “sexist” aren’t one-size-fits-all. No matter how you shoot something, there will always be people who find it sexy, and there will also be people who are offended. The best approach is to find what is authentic and appealing to their intended audience and go with that.
I’ve included a gallery of my own photos below that I think express a range of various expressions of sexiness.
what an interesting read! I agree that there’s lots of kinds of sexy, just like there’s lots of kinds of beautiful 🙂
oh and p.s. I’m pretty sure a proper corset CAN do that to your body (though not painlessly)
I guess it could be done the “old school” way with a corset, although lots of people would find that oppressive and sexist too! 😛
Favourite new word: enbiggen
It’s so subjective, isn’t it? Do you think there is any image or style of image that is universally “sexy”? I guess it goes back to defining what sexy means. Does it mean “makes you want to have sex”? Again, completely subjective. That’s a hard one. Teehee, I said hard.
Enbiggen.
I think there are forms of sexy that are more universal than others, but there’s no one form that works for everyone. It reminds me of that “some of the people some of the time” saying. Like everything else subjective, there’s a spectrum of options, and the most popular will fall somewhere in the middle. It seems that as time goes on, people find new and more extreme fringes of that spectrum, thus enbiggening it.
The way you weave words echoes the way you compose images~ elegant, eloquent and beautiful
On the topic of ‘What makes a photo sexy?’ I agree that everyone has their own opinion and experience of it.
What is most fascinating to me is how our media and the bulk of the photographic images out there are convinced there is one version of sexy, even though each one of us has our own unique route to get to that tingly place.
I am looking forward to seeing how you explore this idea with your clients and reveal new visions of sexy for all of us to see.
You’re right! I think the media feels constrained to show the easiest and most profitable form of sexy because it is the safest thing to do. When there are millions of dollars at stake, that seems to be the most common route. There are some bold producers, however, who seek to stretch the definition, and people are often surprised when they manage to redefine sexy in some way.
Great post Kevin. In my view sexiness is something that is subjective…everyone has different opinions about what is sexy and each person expresses it differently. The media seems to try to mainstream one particular angle of what is sexy and it relays the perception that if you don’t imitate that definition of sexy then you’re not. I think, especially in photography, we have to be creative and individually expressive in showing what sexy can mean – and its not always a model scantily clad laying on a bed. Think outside the box and see that sexy is something raw in each of us, we just have to find our own individual way of expressing it.
ps. great choice of photos! 🙂
Agreed! In fact, I think one of the sexiest things in another person is the ability to have independent thought.
Subjective or not, all sexiness shares a sense of mystery, merely hinting at what’s underneath. There’s always something covering up what we really want to see. Be it bed sheets, a loose men’s shirt, a body part, or mere shadows, the idea that the “good stuff” is there but out of sight ads a big sense of fun because it gets the imagination going.